Episode 4

Zero Dork Dirty

Deep in the cavernous bowels of Guantana-Joe Bay there was a palpable energy… The Joes had finally managed to capture Cobra Commander himself. He sits naked in the middle of the room, tied to a chair, flanked by Blow Job, Cockblock, and Snake Thighs.

Cobra:
Do your worst Joes! You’ll never break me!

Blow Job:
How should we start this Snake Thighs? Should we give him the Joe?

Snake Thighs:
No, let’s start with the nipple clamps and riding crop.

Cockblock:
I’m on it, boss!

Cockblock attaches nipple clamps to Cobra and uses the attached ropes to suspend him from the ceiling. Blow Job gives him a hard smack across the ass with the riding crop and as he does he yells out:

Blow Job:
COBRA RETREAT!

Cobra:
Is this all you’ve got? What would you do for a Klondike bar?

Snake Thighs:
Well that last part didn’t make any sense but he’s right….. We’ve gotta give it to him harder. Do we have any new techniques?

Cockblock:
Wellllll… There is this new thing but it’s almost certainly violates the Joe-neva Convention….

Blowjob:
Was Cobra thinking of the Joe-neva Convention when he 9/11-ed 9/11 or that time he snuck into Joe Headquarters and gave us an upper-decker?!

Snake Thighs:
He’s right. We must do it… What is this new technique?

Cockblock:
Sexual Waterboarding.

Blow Job unhooks the nipple clamps and lays Cobra on his back as Cockblock pulls a crusty tube sock over Cobra’s head and face. The two then take a bucket full of semen and begin pouring it over Cobra’s socked face, simulation drowning.

Cobra:
Glub glub glub glub… Why does it taste like Jon’s Mom’s Cooking? Alright, you win… I’ll tell you everything including why they call me Cobra… It’s because my penis is uncircumcised and resembles a cobra’s hood.

Cockblock:
Oh okay…ew.

Snake Thighs:
Good job boys, we’ve done it! But I have one question: how’d you save up all that semen?

Cockblock:
Milking the wrong cow.

Snake Thighs:
Now I know!

Blow Job:
And knowing is half the battle!

THE END.