Episode 6

Bad Libs:
Starring: Bob, Linda, and Teddy.
 
Following his inhaling of back to back cb with picks, Bob and Linda convince him to be blindfolded to show him a special surprise.. They lead him next door to the Crematorium where they remove his blindfold.
 
Teddy:
Hey, guys. Why did you take me to the Crematorium?
 
Linda:
Well, Teddy-
 
Bob:
With Teddy here it’s more like the heavy cream-atorium…boom.
 
Linda:
So, Teddy-*giggles* oh I get it now…”heavy”… Because he’s fat… Good one, Bobby!
 
Bob:
Thanks Linda.
 
Teddy:
Good one, Bob. Equal parts funny AND hurtful.
 
Bob:
But anyways, as Linda was saying….
 
Linda:
You’ve enjoyed many of our burgers Teddy….
 
Teddy:
More than enjoyed them, I fucked them
 
Linda:
There’s something that you don’t know about our burger preparation yet…
 
Teddy:
MSG?
 
Bob:
Ew, no that’s fucking disgusting…we make the burgers out of dead people.
 
Teddy gasps and then chews on this new information. Once he’s fully digested it he opens his mouth to reply.
 
Teddy:
My first reaction is surprise but I suppose meat is meat.
 
Bob and Linda exchange surprised looks over how nonchalant Teddy is to learn that he’s been forced into cannibalism.
 
Teddy:
(Continued:)
I’m mostly just excited that you guys trusted me enough to share this with me. I’m surprised that you didn’t think I’d squeal.
 
Linda:
Wellllll…….
 
Bob:
Yeah that’s the thing, Teddy the real reason we brought you here is because….our taste for flesh…our bloodlust has increased exponentially.
 
Linda:
That’s right…. We’re no longer content eating long-dead meat, once re-heated.
 
Teddy:
Yeah?
 
Linda:
We’re more into the cannibalism version of Sushi these days.
 
Teddy:
What does that even mean?
 
Bob:
Let me show you…
 
Bob jabs an ice pick into Teddy’s throat and then uses tongs to pull out his Adam’s Apple, which he pairs with a sharp, white cheddar. As Teddy gasps wordlessly Bob flips him onto his belly where Linda holds him in place. Bob fashions a makeshift condom out of a seaweed wrap and begins plowing away at Teddy’s turd wallet.
 
Bob:
I call this one (butt fucking sushi pun (the ass roll?))!
 
As Teddy bleeds out, his complaints become weaker and more confusing.
 
Teddy:
Hey…um…I don’t know what that means but also, aside from this murder part and the seaweed butt fucking, you guys were the best friends I ever had. *Gurgle*
 
Linda:
Awwwww, Teddy!
 
She snaps his neck, ending his misery.
 
Bob:
Lemme just add the secret ingredient.
 
He cums.
 
Bob:
Okay, donesies.
 
Bob pulls his dick out and removes the soiled seaweed wrap which Linda devours hungrily.
 
Linda:
Mmmmm you can really taste the Corn from last night!
 
Bob:
But now it’s time for the main course!
 
They flip Teddy’s fresh corpse back onto his back. Linda climbs up onto a nearby bookcase.
 
Linda:
You ready Bobby?
 
Bob:
Yeah Linda, let’s mung.
 
Bob puts his mouth over Teddy’s now-gaping asshole as Linda jumps from the bookcase onto Teddy’s stomach, dispelling his decomposing insides into Bob’s open gullet.
 
Bob:
Nomnomnomnomnomnom!
 
Linda:
My turn!
 
But Bob doesn’t hear her for he’s just caught his reflection in a nearby mirror. He stares transfixed as he examines the globs of Teddy in his moustache.
 
Bob:
What the fuck are we doing, Linda?!
 
Linda:
Bob? What do you mean?
 
He turns to face her and gestures at the putrification in his facial hair.
 
Bob:
Fucking look at me Linda! I’ve turned from a meunster into a monster.
 
Linda:
You don’t look like a monster to me, Bobby.
 
Bob:
I don’t?
 
Linda:
No… If anything you look like a “mung-ster.”
 
Bob laughs.
 
Bob:
Thanks Linda, that’s why I married you, now give me some sugar.
 
They kiss passionately.
 
Linda:
Mmmm, Bobby, you taste like Teddy.
 
Bob:
I sure do, Linda… I sure do.
 
THE END.