Scene opens with Princess Peach chained to a wall in a dark dungeon with the evil Bowser standing guard in the doorway.
Peach: Ugh, do we have to do this shit again Bowser? We do this every time and it always ends up the same. Mario hops over a bunch of shit, throws some god damned turtles around, and eventually finds my poor tied up ass and saves the day. Just give it up.
Bowser looks over at peach. He reaches down between his legs and jiggles his scaly penis. A smirk forms across his face and he flicks his tongue, all hannibal lector and shit.
Bowser: Bitch why don’t you shut your cockhole and suck my giant turtle dick you Kerry
Peach throws her head back and laughs.
Peach: Dick? What dick? Looks more like a titac to me
Bowser rolls his eyes and suddenly turns his attention to a dark closet. He walks over and drags out a large box. From the box he pulls out a Baby Jesus butt plug
Bowser: Guess it’s time to have a little fun now isn’t it, bitch?
Peach groans in fear as she tugs at her bound hands.
Peach: Fuck you bowser, you dirty cunt muffin. When Mario gets here he’ll kick your fat turtle ass! Fuck you cunt! Fuck yoooouuuu.
Bowser closes in and wraps his turtle fingers around peaches throat. He thrusts up against her with his limp penis, desperately trying to get hard. Suddenly he stops and loosens his grip as the sound of footsteps echo from behind him..
Peach’s eyes light up.
Peach: Mario? My love? Is it you?
They both look to the entrance.
An old mexican woman appears in the door way.
Woman: Hi mr bowser, I here to clean.
Bowser: God damn it abuela, get the fuck out of here you crusty old hag!
Woman: But but.. I brought lemon pledge meester. I bought it myself!
Bowser grits his teeth and walks toward the door. The woman backs away in fear. Meanwhile peach struggles at her tied hands and slips free. She darts over to the dark shelf and pulls out a giant black dildo covered in barbed wire.
Peach: Hey bitch, say hello to my girthy and not so little friend. I call him mr destroyer
With a quick thrust she rams the enormous dildo up bowsers ass. He staggers and falls to the ground and lays unconcious. She exits the dungeon from a convenient backdoor.
The scene changes to Mario’s house. Peach knocks loudly at the door.
Peach: God damn it Mario, where were you? I had to save myself this time…
The door slowly creeks open. She steps in and hears a loud slamming sound..
Voice:. Uhhgh I’m gonna untangle that
Peach creeps down the hallway of and opens the door to Mario’s bedroom. She gasps in horror.
Peach: what the fuck??
Mario is going at it butt style with Luigi.
Mario: Yeah, it’s a mee… Mario.. your daddy! Well actually your brother, but whatever! I’m sure you were adopted.
Mario groans and continues thrusting. He begins cackling maniacally.
Luigi only notices the word adopted.
Luigi: Wait what?
Mario suddenly realises someone is behind him. Peach is standing in the door way.
Mario: Oh, uh, Peach my love! It’s.. It’sa not what it looksa like! You see.. we were cooking a spicy meatball.. and well..a… I slipped.. and a…
Peach crosses her arms.
Peach: You slipped and your “noodle” went right up Luigi’s big fat ass? A likely story. You sound just like my grandpa. You sick incestual fuck.
Mario pulls up his pants and rushes toward the doorway, trying to console the princess. Luigi shrugs and begins to jerk it.
Luigi: Hashtag yolo.
Mario: Looka peacha! I’ma sorry. But you never pleasea my penne pasta! If ya know what I mean! A mana has needs gosh darnit!
Peach: So you fuck your brother?
Mario: Well. Um…
Someone knocks at the bedroom door.
Lugi, Mario and Peach turn around..
Woman: Hi, I here to clean.
Peach: What the hell? Is this all you ever do?
Woman: No no. I brought lemon pledge.
A few seconds of silence pass.
All three: Get the fuck out!
The mexican woman drops her head in shame and exits the room. Mario looks to peach.
Mario: Look donkey dong, it will never happena again, I promise. .
Peach: Alright. I forgive you. This time.
Scene shifts to a dark dungeon. Mario hops over a goomba and bitch slaps the shit out of turtle. A baby turtle runs for its life only to be stopped as it’s tiny little head is impaled by a fat plumbers foot.
Mario: Haha! It’s a mee.. mario!
Mario suddenly burts into a dark room where the princess is held hostage.
Peach: Yeah fuck me daddy!
Bowser: I’m trying! But your pussy is just so big! I swear it’s not my dick. It isn’t small! It’s your big pussy! Why your pussy so big gurl?
Peach: Shut up cunt.
Mario: YOU FUCKING WHORE.
Peach smiles and looks Mario right in the eyes.
Peach: Oh fuck off Mario, this is revenge, take it like the cum guzzling whore you are and deal with it. You little bitch.
Bowser winces: Oh baby I’m gonna cum harder than I did when i heard about 9/11
Mario ignores bowsers comment and sighs.
Mario: You’re right. I’m sorry. We alla make mistakes. Well, while we’re here..
Mario ignores bowsers comment and sighs.
Mario: You’re right. I’m sorry. We alla make mistakes. Well, while we’re here….
Mario smiles and winks at browser and begins to take off his overalls. Bowser shrugs.
Bowser: It’s not gay if it’s in a three way….
A grunting is heard from the dark closet. Luigi is fapping again.
Luigi: hashtag yolo!
They all fuck.