Episode 9

Archer and Lana are buttnaked in the office engaging in some food-based foreplay. Archer begins pouring a gracious amount of honey into her vagina, the excess of which slops onto the floor, forming a sticky puddle.

Lana: Yeah, I’m the queen bee.

Archer: Yeah, you are! I’m about to rampage that puss! Does the queen bee want my stinger?

He waggles his dick back and forth by shaking his hips but before Lana can respond, Mallory bursts out of her office. She points to the puddle of pussy honey and exclaims:

Mallory: Do you want ants?! Because THIS is how you get ants!

Archer: Mother! I’m trying to food-fuck my baby momma!

Mallory: Then do it without making a mess, I raised you better than that, let me show you how it’s done.

She drops to the ground and begins lapping the honey from Lana’s crevices like a hungry Winnie the Pooh and then-also like Pooh-Mallory’s head gets stuck in Lana’s opening. You can still hear her muffled exclamations from within Lana’s Jonny Bench-ian [pussy.]

Mallory: It smells like [pussy] in here… I can’t breathe.

Lana: Archer, your mother is trapped in my [Gwenevere.] Hurry, get help!

Archer rushes off and returns moments later with Pam. She immediately rushes into action.

Pam: I’m here to help! Back on Poovey Farms when one of the cows had a breach birth we’d use this method. This is basically the same situation so it SHOULD work.

Mallory: What method is that?

Pam: It’s called [blowhole-ing.]

And with that she slides her dolphin hand puppet over one of her meaty mits and rams it right up Lana’s bunghole.

Lana: What the fuck are you doing?!

Pam: I’m trying to push the cow out from the back.

Mallory: You’re the only cow here.

Pam: Hurtful. But you’re scared, you don’t know what you’re saying.

Mallory: Yes I do.

Pam tries to ignore Mallory’s painful Barb’s and turns her attention back to Lana.

Pam: Is this helping?

Lana: Nope!

Pam: Should I take my hand out of your [cornhole] now?

Lana: Yup!

Pam: Uh-oh. My hand is stuck… Archer, go get help!

Archer again runs off. When he returns he is this time accompanied by Krieger.

Krieger: This looks like a scene from that romantic comedy I saw about human centipedes.

Archer: Hurry up! Mother’s running out of air!

Krieger: Ah, I see Pam went for a [blowhole-ing.] You were on the right track but you had the wrong asshole.

He attaches a menacing bionic drill with the word(s) [drill-do] emblazoned on the side to his arm. With the tensing of his forearm he causes the drill to start spinning at a feverish rate and rams it hard up Mallory’s asshole. She spins like a spit roast inside Lana’s snizz then stops abruptly, her body twitches violently, then stops moving altogether.

Krieger: Wellllll….. The good news is we don’t have to worry about her running out of air… The bad news is…she deeeeeeed.

Lana starts going into shock. Sounds become muffled and there’s a ringing as if someone had fired a gun too closely to her ear.

Archer: Lana…Lana…Lana!…..LANA!

Lana: WHAT?!

Archer: I cummed.

THE END.